#its all cgi so i guess not really

[lockerlungs]

Godzilla Minus One was so good man

Id kiss it on the mouth if I could but movies don't have mouths

[sonknuxadow]

potential sonic 3 spoilers incoming if anyone cares. anyway . apparently there was an official survey about the knuckles show/scu in general and one of the questions was about what name you would use for an eggman/shadow/gerald teamup. which is a weirdly specific question. and also one of the name options was team dark …….. ?? even though rouge isnt mentioned in the question and theres no sign of her being in the next movie in general ? i was willing to accept amy being introduced a little after knuckles and tails but between there still being no sign of her being in the next movie and now this if they actually have gerald time travel or something and have him be the third member of the dark story trio instead of rouge then i will be fully convinced that theyre going out of their way to exclude as many already existing girl characters as possible. like i get cgi is expensive which could be part of the reason rouge might not have made the cut. but damn . assuming this is real anyway it could just be another fake leak but idk

[wcrstarter]

if theres ever an attempt at another hellboy movie, or a remake of eragon movie, they need james cameron because nobody does visuals the way he can

[animentality]

deadpool is sort of the last movie I would've expected to draw back the old marvel charm, and remind you why its movies were so successful in the first place.

it has all the foundations, you know.

cameos based on pure nostalgia, self aware humor, the big epic action set pieces, and endless CGI.

things that got ruined in all of the other mediocre movies that plagued phase 4, and damaged the brand's reputation with audiences.

but deadpool being the movie to bring back that special feeling, of like, seeing a movie that's both good AND fits into a multiverse, but without being completely dragged into it...

it's just nuts that it was DEADPOOL of all things to do it.

Deadpool's not kid friendly, which is basically Disney's entire brand, especially when it comes to Marvel. He's openly pansexual, a concept that terrifies the Russo brothers and Disney execs.

It also married nostalgia to its main plot, AND played up the nostalgia of the Fox version of the X-men, as an homage/farewell to Fox.

Which I really wasn't expecting. Like Disney is trying to bury the old X men.

Writing them a love letter, and still making fun of them, was just so out of left field.

I guess it's just surprising that it was Deadpool and Wolverine to bring back classic Marvel, because it was this underdog, that no one expected to be popular from the very beginning.

It coming back to save the MCU...

Yeah.

Deadpool being Marvel Jesus...fitting in more ways than one.

Well done, Deadpool.

You did get the last laugh...didn't you?

[tsintotwo]

Comic-con Tom is back!

Quick recap: Tom showed up in a fit we've seen before cuz that's just who he is (and I respect that). Host was giving kind of a weird energy ('she's asking if you'd like to be punished'???), but okay, no harm done and we don't have to shit on random dudes.

He got asked some of the same questions from earlier cons and some new ones. In summary: Sandman s2 is halfway through filming, the helmet is real and you can see through the eyes, eternal waking is a worse punishment than eternal sleeping, he loved doing Sea Wall, he likes dark Belgian chocolate, he got into acting through Punk Rock, his main inspiration in portraying Dream was the the novels (rather than something external to them), a fav scene to act was the dinner table scene with all siblings in upcoming s2, he'd like to be Destiny so he can live alone in a garden and read, main characteristic of s1 Dream was Dream finding his connection to humanity, fav line is I Am Hope, he's excited to watch Dead Boy Detectives, embodying Dream had its challenges, little to no CGI was used in creating the other versions of Morpheus (iykyk), he tried meeting Morpheus in his dreams, working with Neil was wonderful, he wants to work with great creators (people 'cleverer than him' as he always puts it), he's done a lot of dark roles and if it's happening this many times, he guesses there must be a kinship between those and his personal self (mmhmmm?), for filming he wakes up/starts for the studio around 4 a.m. and starts giving shots around 9 a.m.- time between that is hair+makeup and getting into character, and last and definitely the least, he got asked to do the Dream voice yet AGAIN (please don't do this, people).

It was really, really good to see him. Watch the full video at Klara Himmel's channel.

[lizardsfromspace]

Okay, Matrix plagiarism case postscript

One thing I didn't answer is how she got the Wachowski's timeline wrong. I still don't know, but it appears she essentially shifted their lives back a decade

She says less than a decade ago they were running a construction business, but actually, working at a construction company is what they were doing in 1986. In 1976 Lana and Lilly were eleven and nine years old respectively. I can't explain why she messed this up, beyond having to age them up a decade for the story to work

But this screencap also brings up another thing she mentions repeatedly that I didn't mention - the smoking gun in her claim is that...the Matrix ripped off her words verbatim for its opening crawl. The opening crawl...to The Matrix.

Huh?

So her story is - and unsurprisingly the timeline here is jumbled, for instance, citing production interviews from 1997 when the film wouldn't enter production until 1998 - the original version of The Matrix contained a Star Wars-style opening crawl, and this was the most directly plagiarized part of the film.

She claims this opening crawl was, in fact, in the theatrical release of The Matrix and only removed when it came to home media, because she. Because she called the FBI on the Wachowskis for stealing the idea of opening crawls from her

The theatrical cut does differ from later versions slightly - most infamously the Wachowskis made the green color filter much more green in the second DVD release, to make it consistent with the style of the sequels - but if there was a opening crawl mandated by the studio, nobody but her has mentioned it, and I find it hard to believe critics wouldn't mention it.

Because this is Dark City. She's clearly confused The Matrix with stories about the studio's meddling with the 1998 film Dark City.

Dark City was the dystopian sci-fi film that had a opening narration explaining the whole plot foisted on it by the studio, and critics mentioned it. Basically every review mentioned it (some even suggest covering your ears or muting the film the first time you see it, at least until the Director's Cut removed it). Meanwhile, reviews of The Matrix praised its opening from the very beginning: how it drops you right into things and lets you find out about its world as Neo does. It's just not possible that the theatrical release has a opening crawl no one mentioned when I can pull up full comparisons of theatrical vs first DVD vs second DVD vs Bluray. Whatever story she read either was about Dark City, or was a Wachowski saying in passing "yeah the studio wanted us to add one but we didn't".

Another thing I didn't touch on is just how much it hypes her up as a untouchable genius of cinema. For instance, she claims to have come up with the effects of The Matrix in 1983 too

(one funny part is how little she brings up The Terminator at all? She just threw it in as a bonus I guess)

I looked up how they did the bullet time effect in particular and...it would have been impossible in 1983. It's not just high speed photography; it's entire banks of cameras, placed in the right place by computer previsualization, their sequence programmed, and with all the elements composited together by CGI. Even stylistically - the true creator of the effects cited Akira as a influence, and Akira the movie didn't exist in 1983. Neither did the type of Hong Kong action film that heavily influenced it. I guess it would be possible to write down "someone goes really fast and we depict it like they slowed down time", concepts of a plan etc

But like.

She's destined to be one of the most profound master writers of the 21st century. This is a book proving she's never written anything. It has a pitch for The Third Eye, it has a second film treatment tacked on at the end, and it has copyright registrations for her sequels to Terminator and The Matrix. M. Night Shyamalan's character in Lady in the Water was destined to be a great writer too, but he actually wrote a book. He didn't put out a book with a decades-old synposis that was never finished & reams of legal documents and a bio saying, I'm one of the greatest authors of all time. Because who needs writing when you have destiny, God, and the ancient superrace living in the Pyramids on your side?

This is my for real last post on this since I ended up just depressed about it in the end. I think the worst part is, she knows she lost. But she still goes to the press telling a story she knows isn't true, and people believe her. Some of it is transphobic - "stop saying it's a trans allegory when they stole it"; some of it runs with the Christian oppression narrative (full disclosure, I was inspired to look for her book again bc while looking up another crank, I saw an interview with her in the sidebar of a religious website); but a lot of it is just people who innocently want it to be true.

One of the few pieces debunking her story is on a website called Black Excellence - it doesn't even have a byline - said this:

"There are many people, especially Black people, who wanted the story to be true. It symbolized a Black person, especially a Black woman, finally winning against the system. When Sophia Stewart spoke about how mainstream media would not give her the time of day because almost all of them were owned by Warner Brothers, some Black media embraced her. Blogs spread her story, especially the initial story on Globe that contained errors about the case.

"But the story is not true. Sophia Stewart did not become the richest Black person in the country. But that did not deter her from going on several shows and publications to tell her story."

She took advantage of people's urge to root for the underdog against a corporation - and seized on a lack of mainstream coverage to claim her story was being suppressed. But it just isn't true. Also yeah she ridiculously claims that Warner Bros owns every news website and newspaper and that's kind of funny I guess. Well, that's it. I'm never doing this again

[takerfoxx]

Okay.

I don't often gush about movies on this blog. Hell, I don't often go to the movies anymore. I just don't have the attention span for it. And I honestly was going to give this one a miss until someone who's opinion I trust was adamant that I needed to see this film right now on the biggest screen possible while I still had the chance. So, FOMO out won over, and I went to go see Godzilla Minus One in Imax.

...

Look, I've been a Godzilla fan practically all my life. My family used to rent those old english dubs of the films on VHS from Blockbuster in the early nineties. I grew up with these monsters. But I have to admit, I've never seen the original, nor have I seen Shin Godzilla. To me, Godzilla is about one thing and one thing only.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Gimme the big monsters just going HAM on each other. Rubber suits, CGI, I don't care! I want the big boys with beef to beef with a large side of cheese!

I guess that's why Godzilla 2014 ultimately left me feeling kind of cold while I absolutely loved KOTM despite how stupid a lot of it was. I just want my big monsters absolutely wrecking shit.

This was different. I knew it was going to be different. A remake of the original Godzilla, this time from the viewpoint of the common citizens still trying to get their lives together after WW2? I knew I was in for some heavy drama.

What I didn't expect was one of the most amazing theater experience I have ever had.

And I'm not just saying that because the movie is good, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because the movie is great, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because it's a goddamn masterpiece, even though it is.

I'm saying that because it's about as close to perfect of a film as you can get, and not just of a Godzilla movie, but just as a movie!

Like, it's a running joke that you can cut the human characters out of any Godzilla movie. Here, you could cut Godzilla out and still have a great movie. That's how good the human side of things was.

Like, you really grow attached to these people who have literally lost everything. You grow invested in their struggles, in their relationships, in their baggage, in their love for one another. You come to care about them and are genuinely happy as they eke out a new life after having their homes literally blown to bits. You just want to see them succeed and be happy together.

And that's when Godzilla shows up.

This movie is called Godzilla Minus One in reference to how post-war Japan was basically a Zero Society, left devastated by the conflict. And these people who literally were left with nothing suddenly find even that ripped away as an enormous monster just starts rampaging through the recovering cities.

And this time, Godzilla isn't an avenging hero. He's not a destructive anti-hero. He's not a fun mascot. He's not even a poor, suffering monster unaware of the destruction that he's wreaking. This Godzilla is goddamn menace, an outright monster that is absolutely terrifying. He wants to crush, kill, and destroy. This is Godzilla at his most actively malicious, and all you can do is gape up in horror with these people that you've come to care so much about, wondering how in the hell are they supposed to deal with this!

I won't give away how the day is eventually saved, only to say that it is a masterclass of character-driven suspense and emotion. You honestly come to root for the humans for once. You want to see them succeed, and are genuinely in fear for their lives. No exaggeration, I had my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes all throughout the climax. I don't cry during movies, and this movie made me sob like a baby. It was that good.

And it also had so much to say! Not only about Japan's collective trauma following the nuclear bombs or the other bombing raids like the original, but also about how the Japanese government dehumanized its own people during the war, treating them as expendable resources to fuel the war machine. The main character is a freaking kamikaze pilot who lost his nerve and abandoned his mission, and that plus another act of what he saw as cowardice haunts him throughout the movie, and while it realistically shows how such a person would be treated like a pariah by his former friends and neighbors, it is nothing but sympathetic toward him. He blames himself constantly, but the narrative never seems to.

And there's just this wonderful moment near the end, when it's clear that the government isn't coming to the rescue, so it's up to the common man to band together and find a solution, when a few men leave the mission for fear of their lives and that of their families, and are not condemned for it. And the scientist spearheading the whole thing gives this lovely little speech about how carelessly life has been treated during the war, from the kamikazes to the poorly maintained supply chains to how the common folk were left to fend for themselves, and he hopes to just once be able to secure a win that doesn't sacrifice any more lives. Wow.

I know it's probably too late for anyone else to see it, because I'm pretty sure it's theatrical run ends today. I just wanted to get this review off my chest, because wow, this was the best movie I've seen all year. What a goddamn masterpiece.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x33 - Pump and Gotsu are Shibuya-Type Digimon / Out on the Town

Previously on Digimon Adventure: In the middle of a blistering summer day, DeathMeramon showed up to make things even hotter. Internet contrarianism at its finest. Bet he's also one of those clowns who retools their truck to produce more emissions and trigger Libs. Fortunately, the youth of the nation turned out and voted to throw him off a building so it's all good.

Now we turn our attention to another pair of kids. The recap offers a bit of extra information to set the stage for what's happening.

(Oh fuck me, it's this one. I am not ready. I am not ready.)

Narrator: On the night of the same day they fought DeathMeramon, Yamato escorted his younger brother Takeru to their mother's place and they headed in the direction of Shibuya.

Thit bit of setup doesn't make it into the dub's recap, which simply tells us what happened in the previous episode as usual.

As the episode begins, a CGI readout informs us of the date: It's August 2nd, 1999. The children still have about a month left in their summer vacation.

To put our current location into perspective, here's some of those familiar map markers from last episode. Black circle is Vamdemon's lair at Daiba Park. Green is Shibaura. Blue is Tokyo Tower. We are now one city over from Minato City in Shibuya.

Shibuya is well-known for being, as they say, hip with the youngsters. Imagine if a stereotypical American shopping mall in the 90's with all its associated teenage memes was a city. That's Shibuya. It's like the capitol of youth fashion trends in Tokyo.

So these two Digimon roll up on the roof of a car.

Pumpmon: (excited) This place is even famous in the Digimon World: Shibuya!

The narrator wastes no time going into their rundowns.

Pumpmon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Puppet Digimon. Did you guess Nightmare Soldier? Because he's a Nightmare Soldier. He's kind of a catch-all. Any Nightmare Soldier can evolve into Pumpmon as a Jogress Evolution but no Nightmare Soldier directly evolves into him.

His name is, unsurprisingly, derived from "pumpkin" for his pumpkin head.

Narrator: Pumpmon. A stuffed doll with a pumpkin for a head. His scary but cute appearance is popular with girls. Tonight, he plans to run wild in Shibuya as if it were Halloween. His special attack is Trick-or-Treat.

That little guy next to him is Gotsumon, a Child-stage Data-type Ore Digimon. Gotsumon is a Nature Spirit and the mid-tier evolution for Mochimon. He evolves into a few Digimon you may recognize such as the Monochromon from File Island, Gekomon, and in the 0.5 update, Tailmon - though Tailmon would later receive a more official pre-evolution.

Gotsumon: These are Shibuya-type humans! Narrator: Gotsumon. His body is tough, but he's a cheerful and playfully naughty Digimon. He goes with the flow and was made for Shibuya! He plans to rock out tonight! His special move is Angry Rock. Pumpmon: Something exciting is about to happen! Gotsumon: Let's have fun! Ahahahaha!

Gotsumon and Pumpmon bound off the car roof and disappear into the city.

The dub adds some silence-breaking dialogue to their intro. It also somehow thinks those two are driving the car even though they're clearly on the roof of it.

Gotsumon: Let me drive! You're going the wrong way. Pumpkinmon: How do you know which way to go? You've never been in the real world before. Gotsumon: What's the difference? I've never driven a car before either! Pumpkinmon: Well, it's my first time too! Both: Ahahahahaha!!! Pumpkinmon: Whoa, check 'em out! Uh-huhuhuh Uhuhuhuhuh! Gotsumon: Ew! Pumpkinmon: So these are city people in the real world. They don't look like much fun. Gotsumon: (rundown) Well, Pumpkinmon? You're the right guy to teach them what 'fun' really is. You are, without a doubt, the most rockin' creature to ever have a pumpkin for a head. Remember: Chicks dig evil Digimon. Gotsumon: At least that's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Pumpkinmon: (rundown) Gotsumon, you are the mon! We're going to have such a blast here in the real world; They might even name a building after you: The Gotsumonument, where they keep all the party supplies. Pumpkinmon: 3... 2... 1... LET'S GO!!!

Dub Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are weirdly judgmental about the Shibuya people's party qualities. Though I will say: "Chicks dig evil Digimon" is a surprisingly pragmatic adaptation of Pumpmon having a "scary but cute appearance that's popular with girls." That's not what they said, but... it's not not what they said either.

While Pumpmon and Gotsumon disappear into Shibuya, we join Yamato and Takeru on their way to say goodbye to one another. The brothers sit in silence while the music of Yamato's harmonica plays in the background.

From the luggage rack, Tsunomon and Patamon discuss their situation for the audience's benefit.

Tsunomon: Yamato and Takeru's parents divorced four years ago. Patamon: So even though they're brothers, Yamato lives with his dad and Takeru lives with his mom, right?

Now that we've laid down that reminder, Takeru checks the time on his Digivice. It's 7:07 PM.

Takeru: It's late. Onii-chan, you should get off at the next stop. Yamato: No. I'm taking you all the way to Sangenjaya. Takeru: It's okay-- Yamato: (firmly) Takeru. Takeru: What? Yamato: Let me do this. Takeru: Okay.

Rip my heart in half, and the episode's only just started.

The purple circle on the map is Sangenjaya. As you can see, it's a bit of a trip from the red circle Odaiba. Depending on your timing, it's about an hour to an hour and a half one-way by train. Takeru's worried because Yamato isn't going to get home until like 9. Which is pretty late for an 11-year-old.

We're about to come up on Shibuya Station, which means another 20 minutes to Sangenjaya. For Yamato, that's another 40 minutes added to the length of his round-trip if he goes all the way.

The dub adds a silence-breaker to this scene that completely kills the tone of the boys sitting in awkward, strained silence.

T.K.: How much longer, Matt!? Matt: Relax, T.K. You're almost home.

I guess T.K.'s getting impatient to split up. Their faces are onscreen for most of the extended silence, so the dub still has to go through with Matt and T.K. sitting there unmoving and not speaking. But the vibe is completely killed by T.K.'s whining.

Tsunomon: Matt and T.K.'s mom and dad aren't together anymore, Patamon. So even though they're brothers, they don't live together. Patamon: So T.K. lives with their mom and Matt lives with their dad? That explains why they try so hard to stay together all the time. (T.K. checks Digivice for the time) T.K.: It's sure late. Matt: Yeah? So? T.K.: The next stop's good enough. Matt: No. I'm gonna take you all the way home, little brother. T.K.: You don't have to. Matt: I know I don't have to but I'm going to, okay? I've got my reasons! T.K.: What reasons? Matt: You're my brother. T.K.: Thanks Matt.

This part's pretty well adapted. Matt uses a lot more words to explain where he's coming from, whereas Yamato captures basically all of that in the four words "Let me do this." But he still gets to the same point.

Things are pretty tense here in the train car. But then Patamon asks a question that's more insensitive than he realizes.

Patamon: Are you upset because you're splitting up (wakareru)? Takeru: Shut up! Yamato: (surprised) Takeru! Patamon: You don't have to yell at me like that! Takeru: Even if it's you, Patamon, you shouldn't talk about us brothers like that! Patamon: Fine! I won't talk anymore! Tsunomon: Patamon!

To understand why Takeru lost his shit all of a sudden, you need to understand the nerve Patamon struck. The word he used, wakareru, means to divide or to separate. He was trying to politely ask if the fact that they're going to go their separate ways soon is what's causing all this tension in the train car.

But it's also the word for divorce. Patamon accidentally brushed on Takeru and Yamato's mutual insecurity, that their parents breaking up has broken them up.

Meanwhile, in the dub:

Patamon: Ahhh, nothing like sweet brotherly love! Tsunomon: That's a Digi-mouthful! Patamon: We like when you guys get mushy! T.K.: Hey, quit it! Matt: Easy, T.K.! Patamon: You don't have to be mean about it. I thought what you guys said was ni-- T.K.: MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!!! Why ya listenin' to our conversation anyway!? Patamon: FINE!!! If you don't want me around, I'll leave! Tsunomon: Patamon!

Patamon abruptly starts talking about how cute the boys are, and T.K. gets so embarrassed that he snaps at Patamon about it.

The anime's always been uncomfortable talking about the divorce. So uncomfortable that they initially posed these two as half-brothers but I think we've officially done away with that. But they did bring it up a second ago, so I'm a little surprised they suddenly back down from it here.

Patamon's feelings are so hurt by the argument that he bails as soon as the train doors open.

Patamon: I'm getting off here! Yamato: Patamon!

Yamato and Tsunomon try to chase Patamon, but only get as far as the door. He's gone.

Yamato: Takeru! Patamon flew away! Takeru: (bristling) Who cares.... Tsunomon: The door's about to close! Yamato: (firmly) Takeru....

Right as the doors are about to close, Takeru's anger breaks. At the last possible second, he and Yamato jump out onto the platform of Shibuya Station to go find Patamon.

In the dub:

Patamon: I know when I'm not wanted! Matt: Patamon, don't! (Patamon's gone) Matt: Patamon got off the train, T.K.! Don't you want to go after him? T.K.: Who cares about him!? Tsunomon: I think you care about him. Matt: Don't you? (beat) Tsunomon: T.K.? Matt: Better decide, T.K.; The door's closing! (T.K.'s anger breaks and he jumps off the train with Matt) T.K.: Where'd he go!? Tsunomon: Where are we!?

Again, it's wordier but it hits all the important points. Tsunomon and Matt having to spell out T.K.'s inner turmoil might be a bit over-expository but it doesn't feel intrusive to me. The scene still flows pretty well.

Leaving the station, the brothers hit the streets of Shibuya to find Patamon.

Tsunomon: Where could Patamon have gone? Yamato: This is your fault for yelling at him, Takeru. Takeru: (snaps) I couldn't help it! Yamato: Hey, don't take it out on me.

Takeru stops walking suddenly. His eyes soften.

Takeru: Onii-chan, I'm sorry.... Yamato: You went too far with Patamon. Takeru: I know, it's just.... He wasn't wrong.... Yamato: (gently) I know how you feel. Tsunomon: Let's go look over there!

Tsunomon's doing a pretty terrible job of being a plushy, I gotta say.

The dub, I guess, adds a timeskip as the brothers exit the train station?

T.K.: Seems like we've been walking around for hours.... Tsunomon: Yeah, I'm tired! And I don't even have any feet or legs! Matt: You shouldn't have yelled at him like that, T.K. T.K.: Hey, it's not my fault! Matt: Well, actually, it is. (T.K.'s eyes soften and he stops walking.) T.K.: Oh, I'm really sorry.... Matt: I understand, T.K. I know you didn't mean to hurt his feelings. T.K.: Well, I thought he was making fun of us.... Matt: No way, dude! You know Patamon better than that. Tsunomon: Hey, why don't we try looking over there.

Well. Uh. Glad we got that resolved. T.K. was making mountains out of molehills and he gets that now. Emotional drama: Over.

While Yamato and Takeru search for Patamon, they pass a pachinko parlor. We pan inside, where Pumpmon and Gotsumon are spending their night on the town not gambling.

Pachinko is a pretty huge industry in Japan, proving not-gambling entertainment services. Comparable to a slot machine, pachinko is an easy way to burn through your disposable income by turning a knob and seeing what you get.

The reason I keep saying not gambling like that is because pachinko exploits a legal loophole to dance around Japan's strict gambling laws. Legally, it's simply classified as entertainment. This is because you can't win any money from the machines.

When you play pachinko, what you win from it are balls which are then exchanged for prizes at a nearby prize center. Sort of like an arcade. Those prizes can then be sold to a vendor in exchange for money.

See! It's not gambling! You're winning prizes, not money. And then turning those prizes into money. Not gambling!

So. yeah. These two are basically in a Japanese casino. It's an open secret that pachinko's cheating the system but it's also a pretty major industry, puts a lot of money into taxes, and the law still restricts minors from playing so everyone sorta goes along with it. There's stuff like that in every country.

We join Pumpmon inside as his machine pays out a ton of pachinko balls. Behind him, he has five separate trays filled with balls.

Pumpmon: This is really fun! Gotsumon: Hey, give me some. Pumpmon: Again!? Gotsumon: Don't be selfish! Pumpmon: But I am selfish. Gotsumon: I'll pay you back. Pumpmon: Promise? Gotsumon: Promise.

Before Pumpmon can turn any balls over to Gotsumon, a casino worker finds them.

Worker: You two. You're kids wearing costumes, AREN'T YOU!?!?

He drags them both from the casino and throws them out onto the escalator.

Worker: Next time I see you in here, I'm calling your school!

Once the two Digimon hit the bottom, they get up and yell back at him.

Pumpmon: WE'RE NOT CHILDREN!!! Gotsumon: We're just short! Worker: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?!? Both Digimon: WAUUUUGH!!! (flees)

The funny thing is, he's half-right. Gotsumon is a child.

In the dub:

Pumpkinmon: Haha! Alright, another winner! Gotsumon: So will you give me a few? Pumpkinmon: What, again!? Gotsumon: I'll pay you back, I promise! Pumpkinmon: You'll pay me back with what!? Gotsumon: With what I'm about to win! Pumpkinmon: But you never win. Gotsumon: I'M HOT TONIGHT!!!

I don't think Gotsumon knows what that phrase means. Also, sad that we dropped "But I am selfish."

Nonetheless, pleasantly surprised that they correctly adapted the pachinko parlor as a casino by any other name. This is casino dialogue.

Worker: Hey, you two! You kids just don't get the message! Get out and STAY OUT!!! (Worker throws them out) Worker: If you have to try sneaking in here dressed as cartoon characters, at least get a decent costume! (Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon hit the ground floor) Pumpkinmon: Boy, it's a good thing we were just about to leave! Gotsumon: Or we'd teach you some manners! Worker: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!? Pumpkinmon: Uh-oh! Gotsumon: Oh boy! (They flee)

These two are clowns in both versions. I love it.

Fleeing from the casino, the two Digimon run into a young woman, knocking her to the ground.

Gotsumon: IT'S A SHIBUYA-TYPE GIRL!!! Pumpmon: Let's hit on her to celebrate our first night in Shibuya! Gotsumon: What's up, babe? Woman: What do you want!? Gotsumon: Do you know what time it is? Woman: (checks her watch) Hey! Don't come any closer! You two look like rejects from "Kinchan no Kasou Taishou"! Pumpmon: What is that? Gotsumon: I don't get it. Pumpmon: You're dressed funny too!

Pumpmon demonstrates the peculiarities of the woman's attire by yanking her out her nose stud. This proves to be a terrible mistake, as the next we see of them, they're fleeing for their lives while she chases them in a blood fury.

Woman: YOU ASSHOLES!!!

Needless to say, their attempt at hitting on the woman they knocked down did not go well.

The TV show she brings up is a Japanese variety show that's basically a professional talent show. People would come on and do their own skits, then be rated by a panel of judges.

In the dub:

Gotsumon: Whoa! I think you knocked over a monster! Pumpkinmon: Even worse, I think I knocked over a teenager. I've heard about these strange looking creatures. Woman: Hey! It takes one to know one. Gotsumon: Excuse me, do you know what time it is? Pumpkinmon: TIME FOR NEW CLOTHES AHAHAHAHA!!! Woman: Get lost, you creeps! And what's with the costumes!? Aren't you guys a little late for Halloween!? Pumpkinmon: What's Halloween? Gotsumon: I don't think I like these teenage things! Pumpkinmon: Me either. Maybe I can reprogram her if I pull out her safety mechanism. (Pumpkinmon tugs the woman's nose stud, provoking the fury) Woman: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MUTANTS!!! THIS 'TEENAGE THING' IS GONNA TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS!!!

It's August, so we're more early for Halloween than late.

Pumpkinmon talks like a grumpy old man in this scene and it's weird. His lines here are generation-gap Boomer Humor, and it feels bizarre coming from what are supposed to be two fun-loving imps having a night on the town.

I mean, he is an Ultimate Digimon so maybe he is a boomer but it doesn't fit the tone.

That said, the payoff in the woman's final line is hilarious. XD

Fleeing the infuriated teenager, Pumpmon and Gotsumon's trajectory brings them down an alley and straight towards Yamato and Takeru.

Tsunomon is not playing. The second he lays eyes on these two coming down the alley, he evolves to Gabumon.

Gabumon: Pumpmon! Gotsumon! Takeru: Do you know these Digimon? Gabumon: I think they work for Vamdemon. Pumpmon: We're being chased by a Shibuya-type girl who's much scarier than Vamdemon-sama! Gotsumon: You should hide too!

The pair grab Gabumon by the arms, dragging him away to a hiding place.

In the dub:

Gabumon: Hold it right there! Why are you two in such a hurry!? T.K.: Do you know these guys? Gabumon: I sure do! They work for Myotismon. Pumpkinmon: You're right! But, right now, we're being chased by something even scarier than Myotismon. Gotsumon: There's a really mad teenage human after us! Come to think of it, you'd better hide too!

Losing the repeated references to these humans as "Shibuya-type" doesn't seem like that big a deal, but it does take a bit of the unique characterization and charm away from Pumpmon and Gotsumon.

While the Digimon take cover, Yamato faces the furious Shibuya-type teenager.

Woman: WHERE THE HELL DID "KINCHAN NO KASOU TAISHOU" GO!?!? Yamato: (points) They went that way. Woman: Thanks! (runs off)

Classic misdirect. Once she's gone, it's time to find out what's going on with these guys.

Gabumon: Did Vamdemon order the two of you to come here and find the Eighth Child? Pumpmon: That's right.

Yamato tenses up at the confirmation. The music takes on an ominous tone as Gabumon and Takeru withdraw to Yamato. Steeling themselves for the--

Pumpmon: But Shibuya is much more fun! (Tension killed instantly) Yamato: (lost) Shibuya is much more fun?

Both: (dramatic pose) We've become Shibuya-type Digimon! Takeru: Shibuya-type Digimon? Gabumon: What is going through your heads? Both: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon all exchange weary glances over whatever the hell this is. But when they look back, the Shibuya-type Digimon are gone.

Yamato: WHERE DID THEY GO!?!?

In the dub, the teenager opens this scene with a valid point.

Woman: YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE DRESSED IN THOSE STUPID COSTUMES WHERE ARE THEY!?!? Matt: (points) Uh, they went that way. Woman: THANKS!!! (runs off) (The Digimon come out from hiding) Gabumon: I think I know why you two troublemakers are in the real world. Did Myotismon happen to send you here to find someone? Pumpkinmon: Yeah! That Eighth DigiDestined kid. Matt: Huh! Then you're our enemy! Pumpkinmon: No, we're not! We just want to cruise around the city and have some fun! Matt: Well, we thought you two were evil Digimon. Gotsumon: Evil schmevil! We love it here! In fact, next stop: Hollywood! (dramatic pose) TA-DA!!! T.K.: (flatly) They're not ready for TV. Gabumon: Typical. Everybody wants to be in show business. Both Digimon: Lights! Cameras! And action! (The trio all exchange glances and disgusted noises) Gotsumon: Hey! There's some lights! Pumpkinmon: YEAH!!! (Everyone looks back and they're gone) Matt: What are they doing up there!?

The dub's aversion to quiet moments prevents it from even competing with the original. Also, the nonsequitur about Hollywood is clearly written in there because they had no idea what to do with the Shibuya-type animations they were saddled with.

Now, where did those two get off to?

Gotsumon and Pumpmon jump onto a streetlight, shaking it and scrambling its signals. The ensuing confusion causes a traffic calamity.

Gabumon: YOU TWO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Suddenly, police sirens start up in the distance.

Takeru: Police sirens! Yamato: They'll arrest us if they see this! RUN FOR IT!!!

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon cheese it before the bacon patrol can arrive. Gotsumon and Pumpmon consider their options.

Pumpmon: They're running away. Gotsumon: Let's go too. Both: WAIT UP!!! (flee)

Wise decision.

Over in the dub, Matt yells at them as soon as they jump on the streetlight.

Matt: HEY!!! GET DOWN!!! (Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon cause a pileup) Gabumon: That's enough! That's not funny; It's mean! (Police sirens) T.K.: Sirens! Matt: Get down or the police will arrest you! We'd better get out of here, guys; Let's run! (T.K., Matt, and Gabumon flee) Pumpkinmon: Did he just say let's run? Gotsumon: Sure did! Both: WAIT FOR US!!! (flee)

Mostly the same, though Gabumon's gentle admonishment isn't as fun as original Gabumon's furious outburst.

After cheesing it from the cops together, the brothers realize they've misplaced the Shibuya-type Digimon.

Yamato: H-Hey, what happened to Pumpmon and Gotsumon? Takeru: They were keeping up with us a minute ago. Gabumon: Those two are so impulsive... ACK!!!

Gabumon suddenly spots Pumpmon and Gotsumon trying on outfits inside a clothing store through the display window. Pumpmon is rocking a pink dress while Gotsumon's trying on blue shorts and a white shirt.

Brothers: ...those guys.... Pumpmon: I think this dress would look better on you. Gotsumon: I agree!

They swap instantaneously.

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon enter the store to confront them.

Yamato: Pumpmon! Gotsumon! Gotsumon: Oh, did you want to dress up too? Pumpmon: PUT THIS ON!!!

Gotsumon and Pumpmon dress Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon each up in goofy outfits. The camera lingering on each in turn.

Gotsumon & Pumpmon: YOU LOOK GREAT!!!

Right at that moment, Patamon flies past the window.

Takeru: AH! PATAMON!!! Yamato: AFTER HIM!!!

The trio throw off their costumes and frantically exit the store, chasing after the lost Patamon.

Pumpmon: Should we follow them? Gotsumon: Sure!

In the dub, Gabumon takes this as an opportunity to be zen.

Matt: Hey, where are Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon? T.K.: They were right behind us. They must have gotten lost or something. Gabumon: Those two... Even when they're found they're lost. AUGH!!! (Gabumon spots the pair in a storefront window) Matt & T.K.: Man oh man.... Pumpkinmon: I think this one makes me look fat. But what do you think? Gotsumon: Well then, let's switch! (Brothers and Gabumon enter) Matt: You guys need to change your attitude! Gotsumon: You need to change your clothes!

XD "You need to change your clothes" got me.

As the camera pans over each of the dressed up protagonists, Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon get some silence-breakers.

Pumpkinmon: (on Matt) This look says you're not afraid to think big! Gotsumon: (on T.K.) Here's a sporty look! Course, I haven't figured out what sport it is yet. Pumpkinmon: (on Gabumon) And finally something nice and a little teddy. Well, what do you think? (Patamon flies by) T.K.: OH!!! PATAMON!!! Matt: HEY!!! PATAMON, COME BACK!!! (The brothers run out) Pumpkinmon: ...so, should we follow those guys? Gotsumon: And why not?

XD Again, they got me. "I haven't figured out what sport it is yet," was a solid follow-up to the innocuous seeming setup, and the timing on that line was pretty good.

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon chase Patamon to a nearby park, but then they lose him.

Takeru: We lost him again.... Yamato: Patamon must still be upset. Gabumon: He's not usually this stubborn.

Suddenly, Pumpmon and Gotsumon show up with ice cream cones.

Pumpmon: Now now, cheer up! Gotsumon: Have faith that you'll find him eventually.... Pumpmon: ...and have some ice cream!

Yamato and Takeru both gasp with alarm when they see what the pair are holding.

Gabumon: Where did you get that ice cream? Both: WE STOLE IT!!!

As if on cue, the ice cream vendor comes running into the park behind them.

Vendor: ICE CREAM THIEVES!!!

So the whole group has to start running once again.

Yamato: Why do we have to run!? Gabumon: She's seen us with them! Gotsumon: Want some ice cream while we're running away? Takeru: GET RID OF IT!!!

Once they've evaded yet another Shibuya-type pursuit, Yamato and Takeru stop to catch their breath.

Pumpmon: (holding out the cones) Want some? Yamato: Not me. Takeru: Me either. Gabumon: ... (Beat) Gabumon: I'll eat. Yamato: HEY!!! GABUMON!!!

XD Yamato's trying so hard to present a unified front here but it's ice cream. I mean, no point letting it go to waste; Damage already done and all that. You can't unpop that cork.

In the dub:

T.K.: Do you see him anywhere, Matt? Matt: No. Looks like we lost him again, T.K. Gabumon: Patamon doesn't usually hold a grudge but he was mad as a bull with a Black Gear.

It's funny to me that they're still bringing up Black Gears. That was more than half the series ago. On the one hand, new viewers are going to have no idea what that's supposed to mean. But from a writing perspective, I kinda like that their initial File Island adventure left a mark on everyone's psyches.

Like they're just waiting for Black Gears to become a thing again.

Pumpkinmon: Hey now, don't look so bummed out! Gotsumon: Yeah! I'm sure you'll find your little flying pig friend somewhere! Pumpkinmon: Maybe some ice cream will cheer you all up, huh? Brothers: !!! Gabumon: You guys don't have any money so how did you get ice cream? Both: WE STOLE IT!!! Vendor: (running into the park) YOU CROOKS!!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY ICE CREAM!!! (Everyone runs) Matt: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO!!! EVERYWHERE YOU GUYS GO, THERE'S TROUBLE!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO GET SOMEONE ANGRY, MAKE SURE THEY CAN'T RUN VERY FAST!!! (Everyone stops to catch their breath) Pumpkinmon: So, want some ice cream? Matt: Not me. T.K.: You stole it! Gabumon: ... Matt: Gabumon won't take it either. Right? Gabumon: Ice cream... Ye-- Brothers: GABUMON!!!

Not sure why Gotsumon knows they're looking for a flying pig; He hasn't laid eyes on Patamon. But they did say Patamon's name so he's probably familiar with the species. That's fine.

The dialogue exchange while everyone's running is replaced with Matt scolding the pair of troublemakers for the entire sequence. Though, funnily, he seems more upset that they got caught than that they stole the ice cream in the first place.

The Gabumon joke at the end is slightly different but still nails the landing.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning from the stormy sky strikes the road in front of them, kicking up a cloud of dust. And then everything stops being funny.

Vamdemon: Pumpmon. Gotsumon. Both: Y-Yes, sir!? Vamdemon: Why are you eating ice cream with the Chosen Children? Both: Y-you see.... Vamdemon: Weren't you supposed to be searching for the Eighth Child? Both: We haven't found them yet! Vamdemon: Then why haven't you taken the Crests from these children!? Both: We were just about to do that! (Pumpmon and Gotsumon turn on Yamato and Takeru) Gabumon: RUN!!!

Gabumon shields Yamato and Takeru with his body and the three of them run for it. Gotsumon and Pumpmon let out adorable little battle cries and give chase.

Over in the dub, Myotismon opens by telling these two what he really thinks.

Myotismon: Losers! Failures! Both: No no! Don't say that! Myotismon: Instead of causing pain and suffering, I find you here eating ice cream! Both: ...well, it is stolen-- Myotismon: I DON'T CARE ABOUT ICE CREAM!!! Have you found the Eighth DigiDestined Child yet? Both: Well, we were about to find him! Myotismon: Redeem yourselves by stealing the Crests from these children OR ELSE!!! Both: No problem, boss! That's just what we were about to do! (Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon turn on Matt and T.K.)

Gabumon doesn't say anything when they run this time. He lets out some scared vocalizing like Matt and T.K. are.

Different openings to the same result. Honestly, both openings have merits. I prefer the first one, because Vamdemon's stonefaced "Why are you eating ice cream with the Chosen Children?" is a beautiful Oh Fuck moment. There is no possible answer they can give to that question that won't incriminate them further.

But also, Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon pointing out to Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain Myotismon that the ice cream does qualify as a crime, only for him to scream "I DON'T CARE ABOUT ICE CREAM!!!" is hilarious. XD

So, in the original, Vamdemon opens the conversation with an impossible-to-defend accusation in what is very much the voice of a boss catching an employee goofing off at work. Meanwhile, in the dub, they get him. They win that verbal joust and he's livid about it. Both versions are so good.

Takeru: Why did they attack us all of a sudden!? Yamato: It can't be helped. They were working for Vamdemon from the start! Gabumon: But I can't bring myself to fight those two!

Pumpmon and Gotsumon are troublemakers, but there's no malice in it. They've sort of become the kids' friends, in an odd way.

In the dub:

T.K.: Can you believe those two turning on us!? Matt: And I thought Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon only wanted to have fun, not fight! Gabumon: I suppose they'd rather fight us than fight Myotismon.

Gabumon's line in the original is an expression of his own personal feelings towards Gotsumon and Pumpmon. He's asserting his growing fondness for the pair. In the dub, he explains their motive for the betrayal, which we saw for ourselves half a minute ago, so it's not as interesting.

Cut to Patamon hunkering down on top of a streetlight. He's finally run out of angry and is starting to have post-fury regrets.

Patamon: I left in the heat of the moment, but I wonder what Takeru's doing now?

Down below, he overhears a pair of girls in school uniforms chatting.

Girl 1: Yeah, if you want to meet up with someone, it should be in front of Hachikou's statue. Girl 2: Hachikou's statue is the best place to meet up! Patamon: Hachikou's statue....

Patamon takes to the air again, his mind set on a destination.

For context, Hachikou was a dog whose owner brought him to Shibuya. His owner would take the train to work, and every day Hachikou would wait at Shibuya Station for his owner to return.

His owner died one day from a medical complication at work, and never came home to Hachikou. From then on, every day for the next ten years, Hachikou would come to Shibuya Station and wait, unaware that his owner would never return. He kept this up until the day he died.

(Yeah, that Futurama episode that made you cry is based on a real event that happened in Japan.)

In his memory, a statue of Hachikou was erected outside the station. He's been immortalized in movies, anime, and video games. There's even an annual memorial in his honor.

So. Y'know. Lot of cultural significance to using Hachikou's statue as a place to meet up with people. Which isn't going to translate into the dub very well.

Patamon: I just can't stay mad at T.K. anymore. Besides, I really miss him! Girl 1: So I told Rebecca and Sarah to just find us at the park later. That'll work. It's like... It's so easy to find somebody at the park! Girl 2: Yeah! It's totally easy to find somebody there! Patamon: Oh, in the park!

(sigh) They could have at least used the statue as a landmark. Even if kids don't understand the cultural significance, that's fine. Neither does Patamon. Someone said "Hey, Hachikou's statue is a great place to meet!" and that's all the context he has. It's fine if that's all the context the audience has.

"The park"? This is a metropolitan city. Which park?

While Patamon's heading to Hachikou's statue, Yamato and Takeru find themselves cornered by the formerly friendly Gotsumon and Pumpmon.

As they round a corner, they see Pumpmon ahead, cutting off their exit.

Yamato: AUGH!!! Takeru: PUMPMON!!! Pumpmon: This is as far as you go! Gabumon: He cut us off from the front. Yamato: Get behind me, Takeru.

Gripping Takeru by the shoulders, Yamato moves him back towards the rear. Unfortunately, it's not safe from that side either, as Gotsumon brings up the rear.

Takeru: (spots Gotsumon) Ah! Yamato: (turns) Gotsumon! Gotsumon: This is as far as you go.

I like the symmetrical taunting from Pumpmon and Gotsumon as their trap is sprung. These two are such a double-act, even as the enemy.

The pair backs Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon into a vacant lot. Nowhere to run now.

In the dub:

T.K.: Hey, how'd you do that!? Pumpkinmon: Aren't I amazing!? Gabumon: Well, you might make a nice pie. Matt: Come on! Let's turn around! (moves T.K. behind him) T.K.: Whuh!? Gotsumon: (approaches from the rear) Hehe, I don't think so! Matt: We're surrounded! Gotsumon: Sorry we have to do this to you guys, but orders are orders. You understand.

"You might make a nice pie." Holy shit, shots fired. Gabumon threatens to eat Pumpkinmon.

Matt's also given a tone-shifting silence-breaker when Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon back them into the lot.

Matt: Alright, if it's a fight you want, LET'S DO IT!!!

This is one of those lines the dub likes to use when the kids are in extreme peril to make it seem like it's not so dire.

With their backs against the wall of the lot, Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon prepare to have to defend themselves. Pumpmon and Gotsumon slowly advance on the Children with determination and menace in their eyes. Then, at last, Pumpmon--

Pumpmon: I quit. Gotsumon: Ugh, me too! Pumpmon: Playing around in Shibuya is way more fun than fighting the Chosen Children! Gotsumon: Yeah yeah! Come hang out with us! Group: Huh!?

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon have tonal whiplash over how this night has gone. But the tension's been deflated, our new friends are still our friends, and--

A bolt of lightning suddenly strikes nearby.

Pumpmon: V-VAMDEMON'S COMING!!! Gotsumon: Go hide!

Things may have de-escalated with these two, but there's still the big guy lurking around. It's not safe to be out in Tokyo at night.

In the dub:

Pumpkinmon: Uhh, I quit. Gotsumon: Yeah, me too. Group: Huh? Pumpkinmon: Why should we fight? Somebody always gets hurt. Besides, it's way more fun just hanging out and cruising around the city! Gotsumon: That's for sure! Hey, why don't you guys hang out with us? Group: Huh!? (Lightning bolt strikes nearby) Pumpkinmon: Whoa, Myotismon's coming! Gotsumon: You should all hide!

It's worded a little different but mostly the same. I like Pumpkinmon's new point about how violence sucks, actually. Like. Unless you're Son Goku, on a scale of 1 to Fun it's a 0.

Takeru, Yamato, and Gabumon all hide while Pumpmon and Gotsumon go out to confront their boss.

It does not go well.

Vamdemon: Where are the Chosen Children? Pumpmon: Unfortunately, they got away from us. Gotsumon: We almost had 'em! Vamdemon: You LIARS!!! I have no further use for you. NIGHT RAID!!!

Pumpmon and Gotsumon's deception confirms Vamdemon's suspicions, provoking a rare break from his typically cool demeanor.

We're going to see in a moment that he does know where the Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon are. It's too late to hide. He's giving Pumpmon and Gotsumon an opportunity to tell him and prove that they haven't deserted their posts. A test that they fail.

In the dub:

Myotismon: Where are the DigiDestined!? Pumpkinmon: Uh, they were here just a second ago! They must have got away! Gotsumon: Yeah! You can't believe how fast they are! But we almost had 'em, boss. Myotismon: Yes. I can imagine. You had your chance; Now I'm condemning you to my dungeon in the Digi-World! GRISLY WING!!!

...yeah, we'll. Uh. We'll talk about Myotismon's dungeon in the Digi-World in a moment.

The acting for Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon is so good in this scene. They do a fantastic job selling these claims as pathetic excuses from dipshit minions.

There is, however, a bit of a narrative shift here. Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are lying to protect their friends in both versions. However, in the original, Vamdemon sees through their lies and attacks them for betraying his side. Myotismon is just executing them for failure. This was their opportunity to "redeem themselves" for not finding the Eighth Child, and they bungled it.

Well. Shit. Vamdemon's on the attack, as his bats swarm Pumpmon and Gotsumon. Nothing to lose now; Go for the Hail Mary.

Pumpmon fires off his Trick or Treat, conjuring a colossal pumpkin above Vamdemon and dropping it. The Night Raid bats quickly return from their attack, moving into defense and catching the pumpkin. They ravenously devour Pumpmon's best move.

While his bats are distracted, Gotsumon tries to blindside Vamdemon with his Angry Rock attack. But. Like. It's a rock being thrown by a Child-stage Digimon, and Vamdemon's Perfect. He telekinetically stops the rock with a sharp gaze, then shatters it in midair.

The dub calls these moves Pumpkinmon Power and Rock Fist Attack respectively.

Once the bats have finished eating Pumpmon's pumpkin, they go back on the attack. Pumpmon and Gotsumon have nothing left to defend themselves.

Vamdemon's Night Raid descends upon Pumpmon and Gotsumon once more. They both let out the most bloodcurdling screams, and we pan away to Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon in a nearby alley.

Gabumon: Pumpmon! Takeru: Gotsumon!

Yamato throws himself around Takeru and pulls him away, using his own body to break Takeru's line of sight.

Yamato: Don't watch, Takeru!

The axe from Pumpmon's head and one of Gotsumon's rocks clatter to the ground. Then they dissolve into pixel dust. The incorrigible pranksters are dead. Vamdemon takes a step forward, his boot landing where these parts of the prankster pair had dissolved, as if crushing their bodies underfoot.

There is no change in the dub. Even their bloodcurdling screams as they die are retained. This is because the dub already changed the context of this scene a moment ago. This is where "My dungeon in the Digi-World" comes in.

They pre-emptively altered the context of Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon's disintegration so they could present the death scene in all its gory detail, unhindered by the need to appease the censors. They went to the dungeon, so it's fine for them to die screaming while Matt yells at T.K. not to watch.

...honestly, clever. Points to the dub for managing to make the censors happy and preserve the emotional punch of this scene. Though if you're hoping for a follow-up episode where we spring them from Myotismon's dungeon, I... Uh... I have some bad news.

(Now that I think about it, his entire castle and the mountain it's situated on got obliterated the day after he left. He doesn't know about that. So... I guess they're fine. Dub Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon popped into existence in a vacant lot in the Digital World, then ran merrily off into the woods. The joke was on Myotismon in the end.)

With the deserters disposed of, Vamdemon next advances on the alley where Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon are hidden away.

Vamdemon: The three of you are next. Yamato: (voice breaking) They were good people.... Gabumon: Yamato.... Yamato: YOU HAD NO REASON TO KILL THEM!!!

To understand how big a deal this eruption from Yamato is, you need to understand something. Much like children's media in the U.S., children's media in Japan generally frowns on the word kurosu, meaning "to kill". It's considered vulgar and inappropriate for young audiences.

Like western children's cartoons, Children's anime will generally favor other terminology. "Defeat him. Destroy him. Take him down."

Yamato here uses the word. We are not pulling any linguistic punches. This motherfucker murdered Pumpmon and Gotsumon.

Gabumon evolves into Garurumon, slamming Vamdemon against the wall of the storefront across the road. He gets a hit in, but Vamdemon easily punches him away.

Garurumon keeps up the assault while Yamato shakes with fury.

Yamato: Those guys... It may only have been for a little while... (voice breaks) But they were our friends! GARURUMON!!!

Vamdemon catches Garurumon in his Bloody Stream, whipping him away and tossing him at a building. Just then, Yamato's grief activates his Crest, pushing Garurumon into Super-Evolution.

In the dub, Myotismon is cruelly dismissive of Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon.

Myotismon: (Advancing on the alleyway) Well, that wasn't very difficult. Now it's your turn. Matt: (voice breaking) Those two... They were really trying to save us. Gabumon: You're right! Matt: Rrrrgh! And you just condemned them for no reason at all!

The dub does not have the nerve to say kurosu here. Though they have dropped in some "kill" words in the past. I think this is contextually too dark for them.

Garurumon attacks Myotismon, and Matt's speech here is:

Matt: Go get him. He should pay for what he did to those two! Those guys just wanted to be our friends! GARURUMON!!!

Tonal shift. Yamato's speech is a furious eulogy centered on Pumpmon and Gotsumon, while Matt's is a vindictive battle cry against Myotismon. As usual, the Americans are more comfortable in the realm of aggression than emotional sincerity, which often gets put on display with Yamato/Matt specifically.

WereGarurumon catches himself, landing on his hind legs on the building and then springing back at Vamdemon. Kicking off the most public Digimon fight we've had yet right here in the streets of youth culture center Shibuya.

We cut briefly to Patamon resting in a tree at Shibuya Station above the statue of Hachikou.

Patamon: Aww... Those girls said that if I wait here, I'd find Takeru...

In the dub:

Patamon: Aww... Those girls said the park was the place to find someone, but where's T.K.?

The spirit of Hachikou is strong today, however, and Patamon will be reunited with Takeru. The sound of screaming alerts him to something happening nearby. He looks up in time to see glowing signs on distant buildings destroyed by WereGarurumon and Vamdemon's fight.

(We aren't retreating this time; Yamato's out for blood. Also, fun fact: I'm sure I brought this up before but WereGarurumon himself is a Nightmare Soldier.)

The public below look on in horror as werewolf and vampire duke it out in Shibuya. WereGarurumon dodges away from a stabbing Bloody Stream and counters with Kaiser Nail. His claws form an X-shaped projectile that slams Vamdemon back through the wall of one of the neighboring buildings.

Startled humans inside leap to their feet as the fighting progresses indoors. WereGarurumon jumps in through the hole, but Vamdemon's back on his feet. A Night Raid hits WereGarurumon dead-on; The bats lifting him through the air and crashing him through a neon sign.

Though the fight started off promising, the neon sign costs WereGarurumon dearly. Vamdemon now has the upper hand. Before WereGarurumon can recover and get back to his feet, Vamdemon lashes him with Bloody Stream.

The fight has completely turned. Vamdemon has the unassailable advantage now. WereGarurumon finally makes it back to his feet, holding his stomach, badly hurt. Only to take another Bloody Stream to the face and knock him back down.

Yamato and Takeru watch in horror while Vamdemon lifts WereGarurumon into the air on his Bloody Stream whips, shocking or burning or doing something to him. WereGarurumon screams in agony.

While the violence unfolds, Takeru isn't even thinking about it. He's buried in his guilt.

Takeru: (thinking) If I hadn't gotten so mad, Patamon wouldn't have left us. We never would have met Pumpmon and Gotsumon in Shibuya. And Pumpmon and Gotsumon... wouldn't have been killed by Vamdemon!

Holy shit, that is a lot to lay on the shoulders of an 8-year-old. Takeru believes his mistakes got Pumpmon and Gotsumon killed. He's... he's not right but he's not wrong either.

I love that he calls out Vamdemon as the killer. That's vital perspective that people struggling with guilt don't always have. Vamdemon killed them, not Takeru. He is not to blame. It's good that he recognizes that.

But the chain of events that led to their deaths did begin with him exploding on the train. He's not to blame, but he's still going to be telling his therapist about this when he's forty.

In the dub:

T.K.: (thinking) WereGarurumon's in big trouble and it's all my fault! If I hadn't been so mean, Patamon would still be with us and we would never have met Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon! And if those poor guys had never met up with us, they wouldn't be stuck where they are now! Ohhhhh....

Good effort. Doesn't land quite as strongly, but that's mainly because there's only so hard they can go on T.K.'s trauma when Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon are simply in a dungeon cell somewhere. They still put in as much effort as they can to sell this.

Takeru's grief and trauma and fear is so overwhelming at this point that it all comes crashing in together, pushing him over the edge for the second first time. Patamon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

FINALLY, a full 19 episodes following his death and reincarnation, Angemon is back in play. Patamon doesn't even know what's happening when the surge of Takeru's emotions hit him all at once and bring him into the fight.

Angemon soars over the onlookers in the streets below and straight on into battle. Vamdemon notices him at the last second, swerving out of the way of Angemon's swing - but the attack still goes through. Angemon's staff crashes through the whips of Vamdemon's Bloody Stream, breaking the bonds that are holding WereGarurumon down.

Angemon's intervention buys WereGarurumon a moment to finally catch his breath and get back up.

WereGarurumon: Angemon!? Angemon: Are you okay, WereGarurumon? WereGarurumon: Uh, sort of? Takeru: Angemon! Yamato: Takeru's feelings reached Patamon!

It's great that Angemon is back in the fight, but WereGarurumon's still hurting. We're not out of the woods yet.

Though the dub ratchets up the positivity.

WereGarurumon: Angemon.... Angemon: Are you alright, WereGarurumon? WereGarurumon: Yes. Thanks to you, I am. T.K.: Angemon rules! Matt: Well, I guess we don't have to look for Patamon anymore!

Matt, is that the most pressing matter right now? Dracula is still right there.

WereGarurumon gets his second wind while Angemon stares down Vamdemon.

Vamdemon: So you're the one who possesses holy powers. WereGarurumon: Let's go, Angemon. Angemon: Right.

In the dub, Myotismon is weirdly dismissive of Angemon?

Myotismon: Hmph. Angemon. They must be desperate if they sent you! WereGarurumon: Angemon, shall we take him? Angemon: Let's go!

Uh, Angemon is kind of a big deal? I mean, he's still only Adult-stage; He'd get wrecked in a straight fight. But Myotismon is talking about him like he's the team bottom-feeder.

Angemon doesn't even respond to Vamdemon. He and WereGarurumon go straight on the attack as soon as WereGarurumon's recovered.

Angemon goes high, raising his staff for an overhead swing, while WereGarurumon goes low. WereGarurumon feints with a spin kick. Just as planned, Vamdemon dodges upwards to evade, coming straight into Angemon's attack range. He's forced to raise his arm to block the follow-up from Angemon.

With Vamdemon momentarily pinned down in melee with Angemon, WereGarurumon rebounds off the building that was behind him and comes in for his real attack. He throws himself up into the fray, coming straight up at Vamdemon's defenseless back.

And then I guess we ran out of time and budget because a big blue light blob conceals the entire rest of this fight.

Vamdemon retreats, attempting to save face with a parting taunt and his weird robotic monotone laugh.

Vamdemon: I'll finish this fight later. Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

So fucking creepy every time he does that. He laughs like a Text-to-Speech generator with a reverb played over it

Myotismon continues to have a much less Uncanny Valley laugh.

Myotismon: It's time I take my leave; We will fight again! HuhuHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Myotismon has a villain laugh and Vamdemon has this eldritch thing masquerading as mirth.

Now that the fight is over, WereGarurumon and Angemon revert to Gabumon and Patamon. (Not Tsunomon? Odd.) Yamato and Takeru race over to check on their Partners.

Yamato lifts Gabumon into his arms as much as he can.

Yamato: Gabumon....

He looks concerned, but Takeru is distraught, with tears in his eyes. Considering what happened to Patamon last time he evolved, you can understand why he's freaking out.

Takeru: Patamon!? Are you.... Patamon: Yeah. I'm okay, Takeru. Takeru: T_T I'm sorry for getting mad.... Patamon: Don't cry, Takeru.

Of course, Takeru's fears are misplaced. The reason Angemon died last time was because he channeled the full holy might of all seven Digivices through his body at once. It was that desperation play that killed him.

But Takeru has had a fucking hell of a night and he can be forgiven for thinking he was about to cap it off by watching Patamon die again.

In the dub:

Matt: I hope they're alright! T.K.: Me too! (Both boys grab their Digimon Partners) Matt: Gabumon? T.K.: Ohhh... Patamon! Are you okay? Patamon: Yes. I'm alright now, T.K. T.K.: I'm sorry, Patamon. I'm sorry I got mad. Patamon: Don't cry, T.K. It's alright.

There's some extra dialogue leading into it but it's otherwise the same.

Yamato and Takeru walk back through Shibuya with their Partners, headed for the station. Along the way, they can't help but see the ghosts of the memories they made tonight, with two friends who paid a tragic price for it.

They were Shibuya-type Digimon to the very end.

Takeru: Onii-chan, over there....

Takeru points out the storefront where Pumpmon and Gotsumon dressed up, and the memories flow in from there. Thirty seconds of silent flashbacks while a mournful piano melody plays in the background.

Yamato: (quietly) ...let's go home. Takeru: Yeah.

As the boys leave, a pair of shooting stars twinkle by overhead. A parting symbol of the lives that were lost tonight.

The dub tries to keep things light and upbeat, which really doesn't work for this scene.

T.K.: Hey, look in that window! That's where those crazy Digimon tried on all the clothes, remember?

Due to the dub's aversion to silence, the flashbacks contain voice lines from Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon, of the various things they said in those scenes.

T.K.: Aww, they were funny. Matt: I know what you mean, T.K. I miss them too.

Yeah, you can't lighthearted a scene about grief. T.K.'s lines end up underselling the severity of what's happening in this scene. Though I guess that's to be expected since Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon went somewhere else.

While Yamato finally takes Takeru back to Shibuya Station to drop him off, we turn our attention back to Odaiba.

The camera pans across the Rainbow Bridge, passing over Daiba Park where Vamdemon's base is located.

Narrator: The children saw the cruelty Vamdemon is capable of with their own eyes.

Then we cut to the Yagami home from outside. Hikari is in her room doing homework. The camera slowly pans up to reveal Tailmon on the roof. Watching.

(What she is watching, I have no idea. All she can see from her vantage is the balcony of the apartment above Hikari's.)

Narrator: Soon they would realize that this was only the prologue to the great battles ahead. Once the Eighth Child discovers their destiny, the flames of battle will flare in an instant and devour everything.

Then we close on a shot of Hikari's Digivice lying in a nest made from stolen hangers. Because crows.

Narrator: There's not long now until that time arrives.

Since the dub has no narrator, Matt takes the mic and uses it to spell out the Moral of the Episode.

Matt (V.O.): I guess we shouldn't take our friends for granted! T.K. nearly lost Patamon's friendship and who knows if we'll ever see Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon again! (Shift to the Yagami home) Matt (V.O.): But one thing's for sure; I know Myotismon isn't through with us yet! His henchmen are out there right now searching for the Eighth DigiDestined! Gatomon: (thinking) You may be sweet, little Kari, but next time I will get my claws into you. Narrator: Will Kari survive her next encounter with Gatomon, Myotismon's most loyal servant? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Oh fuck me, I guess we DO have a narrator all of a sudden.

Remember, kids: Treasure the friends that you have. Because you never know when Dracula will murder them lock them in a dungeon.

The dub still doesn't quite understand what's going through Tailmon's head right now. She wasn't thwarted in her attempt to kill Hikari; She ran away because Hikari makes her feel feelings that are freaking her out.

She's fence-riding. Trying to monitor Hikari because she's pretty sure Hikari is the Eighth Child, but using "We don't know FOR SURE" as an excuse not to take further action.

But the dub's still playing Gatomon as super determined to kill Kari, but struggling to find an opportunity. Even though she had a perfectly good opportunity that she fled from.

Assessment: Fuck me, this episode. Hahahahaha hi shit is dark today. Between this and Angemon's first outing, Takeru will be in therapy until he's ninety.

This episode's a bit of a cheater. Like, it's kinda bullshit that Tsunomon can go straight to WereGarurumon in the same night he recovers to Gabumon after how much time was spent building up the drawbacks of Super-Evolution - and then revert back to Gabumon instead of Tsunomon.

I'm not sure if this is going to be the new standard going forward. The Digimon do get stronger over the course of the series; It was a plot point on File Island that practice made them better at being able to evolve to Adult-stage more frequently and consistently. So it may be that we're getting better at Super Evolution too. We'll see if this sticks. But it's still weird that he can hit Perfect in an episode he starts out in Baby.

Of course, Pumpmon and Gotsumon tore my heart in half like I knew they would. And Takeru, just... Just... Takeru. It's not exactly the episode from Fullmetal Alchemist (both versions, you know the one) but it's brutal nonetheless.

The dub... This is another one of those episodes where they were screwed from the outset. The censors were never going to let them do this episode justice. It's dark as shit. They didn't want to deal with angry parents calling because their children are screaming and crying over a pumpkin boy.

But for what they'd be allowed to do, they did a better job with it than I expected. It's still a pale imitation of the original, but there's more definition to that imitation than I thought I was going to see. A C for the overall product but an A for effort.

[justherefortua]

rewrite while changing as little as possible

this is my crack at tweaking some things while mostly working within the bounds of canon, with only 6 episodes, keeping most of the scenes, setting, side characters the same… What would you have changed about my or the original plot’s plan?

Spoilers for all of season 4 under the cut

- first of all. squids. tentacles. body horror with the black goo thingy. fleshy goo monster. decaying the earth. eating the earth up. The antagonist of this season should be THE HORROR, the extra-dimensional creature inside of Ben Hargreeves. This will save money on reshooting cgi scenes plus make it specific to both sparrow and umbrella ben for a Ben-centric season, rather than anyone with Marigold + Jennifer destroys the world

- Maybe it’s made of Durango or something, the antithesis of the Marigold, but Ben’s power is to keep it sealed, and occasionally hold power over it. Maybe it is Durango. Whatever it is, it was made when Abigail made the Marigold, and it seeks to consume and make everyone like it. It exists across all the timelines and over the seasons has become smarter and smarter. Not even Reginald and Abigail can understand or control it—maybe it destroyed their original planet, and snuck into the Reginald marigold release thing and got into Ben somehow. To tie in Season 3, The Hotel Oblivion was maybe built to nerf it/hold it? (I heard this was true in the comics since the hotel was used to keep villians? This could be hearsay, haven’t confirmed.) When Hotel Oblivion got used with the reset button, the protections went too which is why the Horror has more influence and was able to alter the new timeline to have the Keepers and Jennifer to set up the conditions for the Cleanse aka its takeover of the world and all the timelines.

- Jennifer as an agent of the Horror, unknowing or innocent maybe. Or knowing—she already wasn’t normal in that tv squid moment and in the shipping container and as a girl being Truman Showed by everyone else around her. A culmination of everything it’s learned about human nature, a lure of sorts for Ben and the rest of the Academy who generally like to save people. An eldritch horror of a regular girl? That would be so cool, just a normal girl with a normal life until it all turns upside down with the introduction of Hargreeves and Marigold and all that stuff. The acting direction could be good to have her be just a little bit off…

- instead of just Five and Lila, EVERYBODY should get in that subway. The subway is so cool. The other timelines are so cool. No one would be mad at a montage if it’s a family bonding montage. It leaves imagination for the family to grow closer together over a short period of screen time. This could be a whole season in itself and would honestly be a wonderful callback to other seasons and possibilities for the final season.

- AT MINIMUM, I think just adding Diego to the getting-lost-in-the-subway-for-seven-years plot would be amazing. He wants to live larger than life, be cool and rugged, and gets monkey’s pawed. Yeah you’re child-free with your wife doing cool action macho survival things every day but guess what? Subway Rats. He and Lila could hit rock bottom, let out all their anger, and then progressively make up over that 7 year montage and resolve to appreciate their kids, the in-laws, and the life they’ve built together. Alternatively, they could decide that their relationship really doesn’t work out and split up. Either way, it’ll be a mutual decision.

- As for Five, he won’t be going through an apocalypse alone and that is interesting in itself. He could bond more with Diego, find himself losing hope and finding it again, suffer complete burnout but be supported, finally work through Apocalypse-Commission-Handler trauma with Diego and Lila. Face the same choice of going back to The Cleanse (of course Diego and Lila are going back for their kids) or staying in safe Strawberry Land away from everything or until everything ends, true retirement. In the end, I think he chooses family.

- For Lila, I think she’s pretty good and principled towards her family aside from THE THING in the scenes we see her in, I’d like to know more about her family, her relationship with her kids, and develop her relationships with the siblings more as well. We got some moments with Allison as fellow moms, but what about Luther, Ben, and Viktor? I think she needs more specificity on how jarring the switch from assassin life is to family life is. Maybe she can open up in that 7 year montage somehow.

- In at least one of the numerous moments that Klaus died and could have went to the void. A moment with Umbrella Ben is all I ask, acknowledging that Klaus is with Allison and Claire now but also seeing how Klaus has essentially locked himself in and is very afraid of the world. 😭 he’d be so proud of Klaus though. ):: i know he’d punch Quinn in the face so hard 🙏 I’ll leave the aus where he’s totally back for the other than very close to canon rewrites

- Because I actually liked the Five Restaurant scene, I think it would be really meaningful for all those Fives to see a complete whole family and band together to help our Five and our family. Bonus if some of the Fives get hugs and tears and breakdowns because of the horrible apocalypses their siblings and families had to go through.

- this is just an overall thing but I think to help their motivation to save Ben everyone should at least elaborate on their past relationship with him, get to know Sparrow Ben as somebody other than a snarky guy, or make an appeal to him at the end when they’re trying to negotiate, even if it is a mix of Umbrella Ben nostalgia… ok this is getting into wishful thinking territory but i think it would have helped LMAO

- Methinks. I actually liked Luther a lot this season, with the stripper job he seems passionate enough about (yeah my man! own that!) and the run down Hargreeves Boy Home he lives in. (he never left the house… 😭) I feel he should have been given more to do. Maybe bonded with Derek and the non-Keeper people in the CIA, i bet they wouldn’t turn down someone with his powers. Maybe followed Klaus along and absolutely tear the motorcycle bike gang to bits for their not safe or consensual sex work shenanigans in comparison to his job. Maybe bond with Diego’s kids since he and Sloane never got to have kids themselves, a parallel he sets up first episode. Actually help Lila with childcare since she seems to be struggling;;

- Viktor and Reginald were fun. You could also add Luther here and it’d be fun too since they’d both advocate for Ben—Luther in particular was the most inclined to accepting Sparrow Ben.

- actually, Luther and Abigail bonding (she’s very nice and he likes validation) and pulling off a double cross with the Gene skinsuit thing would be a good idea until she double crosses him again with helping along the Cleanse instead of trying to stop it. Betrayed by your dad and your mom YAY

- I realize I didn’t suggest stuff for Allison but I liked her this season with Klaus and Claire, all she needed was to get more one on one scenes with siblings or lila, and that pretty much goes for every sibling i just need them hanging out with other siblings ❤️ actually ideally Sparrow Ben I feel like she’d call him out on stuff and be the one to level with when it came to big mistakes, lashing out, being selfish—and afterwards trying to say sorry and be better moving forward. Maybe she rumors him to stop seeing Jennifer to give more plot room for the siblings while keeping the “I can’t stop thinking about you let’s MERGE” idea but he finds a loophole like the sneaky little weasel guy he is (i love him) or Allison let’s it go in order to let him help her when she’s in danger or something idk

- I also like the keepers, very fun seeing everyday people and places repurposed to just have a bunch of guns. Gene and Jean were great, and Sy, guy pretending to be Jennifer’s dad. Fake Jennifer? Amazing. Bud I loved, what a guy!

- I realize I didn’t suggest stuff for Allison but I liked her this season with Klaus and Claire, all she needed was to get more one on one scenes with siblings or lila, and that pretty much goes for every sibling i just need them hanging out with other siblings ❤️ actually ideally Sparrow Ben I feel like she’d call him out on stuff and be the one to level with when it came to big mistakes, lashing out, being selfish—and afterwards trying to say sorry and be better moving forward. Maybe she rumors him to stop seeing Jennifer to give more plot room for the siblings while keeping the “I can’t stop thinking about you let’s MERGE” idea but he finds a loophole like the sneaky little weasel guy he is (i love him) or Allison let’s it go in order to let him help her when she’s in danger or something idk

- The Cleanse. Sparrow Ben and Jennifer have morphed into Goop Monster. The horror has almost won. It is all powerful, it has taken over everything else. It is just the Hargreeves and them in the former wreckage of the mansion, filling with goop. It fills with goop up to their necks and gets into their brains. All it needs is their Marigold, but they have to give it willingly. Taunt all of them with visions of their birth parents, the normal lives they could’ve had but even better, Luther with Sloane and dog and kids, Diego with Lila and his kids, Allison with Claire and Ray and her hairstylist crew, Klaus with Dave, Five with Delores, Viktor with Sissy and Harlan.

- Instead, family chooses their siblings and also the world. They use their powers at the same time and hold hands with Viktor or something at the center because he deserves to save the world instead of end it, combining Marigold or something in a blast that whites out the screen and presumably saves the world.

- Same sequence of the alternate timelines being destroyed. Same park scenes with all the cameos from previous seasons and the post credit marigold sprouting, except Sparrow Ben and Jennifer are also walking in the park at the end because they are technically also victims of the Hargreeves and the original Marigold fiasco. Boom. They sacrificed themselves. 🙏 RIP the end

OPTIONAL SELF-INDULGENT ALIVE ENDING (because I want them to be happy)

- Umbrella Ben and the family in the void and they get a tearful reunion and group hug.

- Klaus and Little Girl on Bike have some banter before she’s like fine. An exception for you all. She holds out the marigolds since her whole thing is flowers in her bike basket. Klaus gets to save the family yaaay

- Replace the marigold cutscene with a scene of all of them joining the family reunion in the park with Lila’s family and the kids

- Open ending to if they find those perfect lives or not in the reconstructed timeline, (Sloane Sissy Dave Ray etc) but at least they are together 👍

Things That Should Be More Well Thought Out And Go Through Sensitivity Readers And Be Addressed But I Dont Feel Personally Qualified to Address:

- luther and allison after that scene in s3. also the murder stuff but mostly that. delicately executed apology instead of willfully ignoring it

- klaus after suffering very bad relapse and sex trafficking during his arc and also being buried alive🙏 thats a lot.. to handle

- I feel adding Diego to the 7-years-montage plot would make it so that he and others appreciated a healthy weight for him in comparison to going through malnourishment to at least divert the fatphobic jokes a bit?? idk or we could just cut those jokes in general there’s nothing wrong with having a dad bod

- probably other stuff but thats the big ones that stood out to me

[gamerdog1]

Deadpool and Wolverine Review

If third time's the charm, Deadpool is the whole goddamn bracelet. I kinda grew up alongside the Deadpool movies. I saw the first one at overnight camp at 16, then saw the second in theaters at 18. Now, at 23, I feel like I've grown as a person, which means I can actually articulate how I feel about these films (though specifically, the newest one). I guess that whole 'wisdom comes with age' thing was right after all.

For starters, Ryan Reynolds absolutely kills it. I know the phrase 'born to play this character' is thrown around a lot, but it really fits here with him. Reynolds once again is a delight as Deadpool, with all his usual snark, pizazz, and heartfelt moments. He's always on point, either with a quick jab at another character, comical reactions, or his character's usual fourth-wall breaks.

He isn't always all happy-go lucky, though. The film, like the previous 2, has a story beyond gratuitous violence, one that centers on Wade Wilson's sense of inadequacy in comparison to other famous heroes. We see how his life has changed since the previous film (go watch that before this, it will not make sense otherwise), both for better and for worse, and watch him continue to grow as a person in a satisfying way. That, I believe, is what separates these movies from other ultra-violent movies of its type: that there is an emotionally-driven story, and it remains important beyond getting characters from setpiece to setpiece.

Though, that's not to say that this is some deep philosophical mediation on the character. Fear not, there's still as much, if not more, violent fight scenes and action here like the previous movies. After all, what would a Deadpool movie be without a few dozen (read: thousand) bad guys to kill, in creative and gorey ways? This film ups the ante, by giving more interesting fight scenes that revolve around different set ups (tower defense, 1v1 in a car, etc) to keep everything visually fresh.

There's never a dull moment in this film. Heart-to-hearts are full of little sneaky one-liners that take a minute to register. Tension between the two leads is thick enough to see, let alone cut with a knife. And all the while, the film keeps bringing in new reveals, fully using the 20th Century Fox backlog of C-listers to call back to this franchise's history, and keep them from fully being forgotten. Add that, with an army of multiverse Deadpools, and you've got yourself a film that even non-comic book nerds like me gush over.

Above all this, beyond the not-quite-irritating-like-most use of the multiverse, or the hundreds of liters of CGI blood shed, this movie did something so profound, I'm still reeling. It made me love Wolverine.

Growing up, Logan always felt like a gross old man type of character. The kind who pressures you to drink at a young age, and owns at least 20 guns that he refuses to part with. Any portrayal of his animal-ness always felt like lip service. But here... its like I've met him for the first time, and now I'm obsessed.

Hugh Jackman has practically been playing this character since I was born, but only here do I really feel like we get to meet Wolverine in full. No longer is he that hunched-over, stoic gruff weirdo that X-Men have around, now he's a deeply emotional character with valid reasoning behind it, and strong motivations. We are finally in an era where tough guy characters are being done justice and allowed to have emotions, and it is glorious.

X-Men Apocalypse gave us a taste of what he could do, but putting Wolverine in an R-Rated movie was the best decision anyone could have ever made. His animal fury is on full display here, and with a higher age rating, ever stab and slice is shown in bloody, glorious detail. Pairing him with another character who can take hits and survive, like Deadpool, was a match made in heaven.

The two are perfect foils, playing off each other in such a satisfying way that had me disappointed when it was all over. Deadpool has worked with bigger, tougher guys in the past, but Wolverine's short temper and guardedness go well with Deadpool's silly, jokester persona. Platonically, romantically, sexually, I don't care. They're meant for each other.

Above all, Deadpool and Wolverine is a loving send off to the studio that made the X-Men film franchise. Its a culmination of all the passion and hard work that went into those movies, and stands as a testament to how far we've come since the first X-Men hit theaters over 2 decades ago. With a film like this as a sample of what's in the future, we won't have anything to fear.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Quick question, what are your thoughts on the One Piece live action 💖

Oh thank you so much for asking!

I am so FRIKEN EXCITED for it, man, you have no idea.

One Piece is obviously going to be very difficult to transition into a live action setting, but i think theyre doing the absolute best they can with the cards they were given. I like to keep my expectations low so that im always surprised, and boy howdy was i surprised with that trailer. I literally watched it like 5 times over in pure glee.

I really cant explain why… i think it’s just the childlike wonder within my soul being like “omg my fav characters doing something fun :O!! Im so excited :DD”

Plus the actors (from what ive seen) are all really fun and i really wanna watch their full on screen chemistry. Like sure its childlike wonder, but its also so much curiosity. Like how are they gonna pull this off :D??

The only thing i could see happening that would make me dislike it is the cgi, but like… i know in my heart that i Will Not Care if the cgi is bad. I used to watch Supergirl AND The Flash CW TV shows and didnt mind.

Actually that’s not true, i have another fear for the show. About a year ago or so there was some kind of leak (idk if its even real or not) for the script that depicted luffy acting not very luffy-like. But like… surely they fixed that. I dont want to live in a world where luffy is depicted giving genuine pep talks and not just telling someone that “yeah if i dont accomplish this then I’m probably dead” (which winds up being more inspiring than anything else he could possibly say)

Plus, if this live action thang turns out to be good????? Ohhhhh ohh hohohoooo. The friends of mine who dont watch one piece and have no intention of watching one piece will be secured tightly in a chair with duct tape and forced to watch it.

I think this little bite sized nugget of one piece could be a lot less pressure to try to get others into since it’ll be so short (in comparison to its 2d counterpart). And who knows, maybe watching the first bit will inspire them to continue watching. :’).

So i guess you can say ive got high hopes.

I can really tell this whole thing has been a labor of love, and thats enough to get me hype.

And also luffy’s actor is very cute.

Thanks for the ask!

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[catluniscia]

Clea Strange

Doctor Strange has a wife in the comics or had I don't know relationships are at the moment, all I know is the outfit she is currently in inspiring and I wanna have fun drawing swishy clothing with rips and stuff...also I really hate that window, which I had to make by hand like 10 times because the things wouldn't line up right, I hope to make it noticeable with all my hard work. (context this was written in late September when only 2 episodes of Agatha All Along had posted)  I really hope she is in Agatha All Along, like I would like there to be more cool bad ass magic users in the universe, which is why I am excited for Agatha, but like I am also one of those who wishes the Marvel Project workers actually talked to each other and or had notes to pass along so things can line up better, Again Multiverse of Madness folks didn't know anything happening in Wandavision, and I really wish they did. I just wish Disney/marvel would stop doing quantity and did quality but you know too much to ask I guess -sips drink- I know Clea is in Multiverse of Madness, and um. I saw her outfit...it's very Marvel Movie. And yes that is a semi insult. Like her concept art for the movie is fine, I like it, but something about it going from Concept to movie something happened and it went from fine, to eh, like it's better than the whole CGI made costumes cause CGI folks aren't unionized yet and there for over worked, but like I don't know maybe the photos I saw aren't that good quality, Mind you online its only like one photo and it isn't even a full body one. Or its badly photoshopped, or AI, which god don't get me started on that rant. Also when looking up I found out there is this fan trailer for Doctor Strange 3 and Google it keeps acting like its legit and like its so obviously fan made it looks...y'all remember when you would photoshop yourself to your fave character, or do ship art? And the quality was clearly photoshopped? That's what the trailer thumbnail looks like to me, like No shit onto the person making this fan trailer, like find your joy would love some more bad ass ladies in the MCU but GOOGLE its clear and bloody obvious its a fan trailer please stop acting like it's legit.  Sorry I think I just zoned out and started ranting about google trying to show fake things as legit as well as complaining about costuming directions in modern movies. UUUUHHHHHH Anyway this is the full art, and I am rambling like crazy and should take a nap, please enjoy this artwork I did and all the texture and detailing. I want a nap and a cookie.

[gritsandbrits]

Since today marks the 40th anniversary of thomas and friends (the show) I'd like to share personal story.

I first got into thomas when i was a little girl. I wasn't scared of the sudden closeups on the characters faces, or the crashes or the unmoving expressions. It was quite the opposite, i was fascinated. There was something about the vibe that drew me in. It wasnt a cartoon but it wasn't realistic either. The characters didnt have traditional voice actors yet they had a personality and charm that made me eant to see what will these guys do next.

We had tapes of the Alec Baldwin and George Carlin narrations, I used to play Make Some Happy on Repeat. I think i still have it, it's in storage and i hope to burn in onto a disc one day.

I was surprised when the show transitioned to CGI. But i still wasn't entirely against it. If anything i wanted to see where it would go. I was pleased when the show finally had dofferent VAs for the characters. Narration was great and all but i loved the idea of the guys having their own VAs and got a little tired of the female characters sounding the same. Eve. When the show started to get bad, even during the Dharon Miller era, i still got my ass up as 7 am in the morning to watch episodes on pbs kids every Sunday. I didn't care. I just liked watching colorful trains and loved seeing new characters and locations.

Thomas gotten me through some pretty rough patches in childhood, and I had a lot. It showed me a world where problems can be eaisly fixed and mistakes arent the end of the world. It taught me it was okay to ask for help, that i shouldn't tackle everything by myself. Now, you might be surprised giving i tend to criticize a lot of stuff but I am also someone who embraces change. In a way, the shoes ups and down taught me sometimes you just have ti acceot everything will not be exactly the same as you want.

It's this mindset that's currently helping me through another rough time. I admit, i was too hard all all Engins go, but watching some if the episodes I came to actually like some of it. Thought it probably helped that i got turned off by the massive backlash, I felt other fans were too harsh to the point of bein downright gross. I don't want to be like them. So i had to let go of that anger and see the positive AEG has. Ironically it was this specific incarnation that really got me into drawing fanart, which was how i came up for my Shining Time Station reboot.

Without thomas, i wouldn't have met my friends. I wouldn't have gotten back into art, since i have drawn some ttte art and even rewriting the magic railroad. Speaking of, TATMR got me into fantasy, I remmberthe first time I watched it was on HBO kids and was intrigued because it literally never referenced in the shoe and i didnt grow up with Shining Time. For all its faults I still enjoy the movie. I'm even making a custom ken doll of Junior conductor. I credit thomas for helping me find my true love with Junior, i dont care if he's fictional, he's my f/o and I care about him greatly.

As for the blue man himself, I relate to thomas a lot. We're both bossy and tempered, but we're also friendly and hardworking. We slip up and pick ourselves back up. I guess, seeing thomas handling failure has gotten me to reconsider how I've been viewing life and needing yo stop defining myself on my faults. He's flawed yet still likable and beloved, so maybe, I can have a chance too.

I used to think the color blue is overrated, moresore than pink, but thanks to rediscovering Thomas, I now admit I love the color blue. It reminds me of thomas and how i should work on improving myself and my worldviews.

So, thank you thomas and friends. Thank you for being in my childhood and reminding me Adulthood should'nt have to be a cesspool of misery. I can't wait to see what the next 40 years would bring!

[timeagainreviews]

In Space, Nobody Can Hear You Scream for Your Nappy Change

Few shows have had as many pilot episodes as Doctor Who. From “An Unearthly Child,” to the 1996 TV movie, to 2005’s “Rose,” and now “Space Babies.” However, one could argue that every new Doctor is essentially a pilot episode. There are notable shifts in the show’s dynamic to such a degree that it’s practically a reset. Any major personnel shift is a renewal. The transition from William Hartnell to Patrick Troughton, the transfer of power from Russell T Davies to Steven Moffat, and again, from Moffat to Chris Chibnall, for example. Even series ten began with the cheeky title “The Pilot,” where we find the Doctor earthbound as a college professor with his student, Bill, and his wife, Nardole. But “Space Babies,” is an odd one, for so many reasons. Mostly because it’s introducing us to characters we’ve been getting to know for a couple of episodes now. Then, of course, there’s everything else.

For some, an episode called “Space Babies” was always going to be a hard sale. Back in March when they revealed the new episode titles as a series of vignettes, Space Babies looked and sounded a lot like what we got. Sometimes a very literal title can be a bit of fun. “Snakes on a Plane,” tells you everything you need to know going in. While it may have benefitted from a bit of virality, you could argue that it does more with its premise than something like “Cocaine Bear,” which was little more than its title. I’ve complained in the past that my issue with the concept of the Timeless Child was that you could figure out the story by hearing the words. If I can watch a story in my head from its title, then in the words of Amy Pond- what is the point of you? My reaction to the title “Space Babies,” was very similar. Except in this case, I would say it was closer to a “Snakes On a Plane,” than a “Cocaine Bear.”

We’re off to a great start. I got to mention cocaine and babies in the same sentence. Speaking of awkward starts, why did Russell T Davies decide to open the show with the twee episode for the kiddies? Those types of stories are usually relegated to the mid-season point, after a really good one. I guess they needed a palette cleanser to put some space between “The Giggle,” and “The Devil’s Chord,” as they’re essentially the same story twice. But that’s for the next review. Though “Rose,” has its own brand of wacky weirdness with man-eating rubbish bins and plastic boyfriend doppelgangers with pizza peels for hands. Even still, it’s an odd choice for the “pilot.”

A lot of the episode’s enjoyment is predicated on how cute you think babies are. In my case, it’s not very much. If they had called the episode “Space Kittens,” it would have hooked me. But babies come with baggage. People are weird about babies. Babies are often politicised, which this episode definitely does, but more on that later. Another reason why babies were a hard sell for me is they’re not actors. Child actors are rarely good, so filtering their performances through the vacant faces of babies is like making a bad thing worse. Sure, they animated their mouths with cutting-edge technology straight from 1995’s “Babe,” but their faces gave us no range of emotion unless you count Eric, whose facial expression was that of one constantly bricking it in his diaper. I was reminded of the Gelflings in “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance,” in that it takes some getting used to the look of their faces. Except in the case of the Gelflings, the Jim Henson Creature Workshop knew their limitations and used CGI where the puppets fell short. A furrowed brow would have gone a long way to sell the babies.

However, I’m not made of stone. I’m not so joyless that I can’t send my critical brain on a little vacay for 46 minutes. I also appreciate that Doctor Who still takes the time to do stories for children. It’s a family show, after all. I was even impressed that the episode was able to sell me on the concept of a booger man (or Bogeyman to be precise) when “Sleep No More,” had so utterly failed to sell me on the concept of eye booger men previously. Even more, I had never expected to feel an emotional connection to said Bogeyman. While a lot of it had to do with Ncuti Gatwa’s performance, I’ll admit I actually got a little choked up at the end of the episode. Even a snotty little freak of nature deserves a place in the world, and I identified with that. It’s nice when a Doctor Who episode ends and it was actually about something.

As mentioned before, Russell T Davies uses the baggage that comes along with babies to stoke the fire of his own story. Through the eyes of Jocylen, the ship’s reluctant nanny, we see the babies in another light- as a constant source of worry. Having never wanted the job in the first place, Jocylen’s part is one of necessity rather than vocation. No one working in the field of charity or crisis aid wants to be doing the work. Sure, it’s fulfilling, but the nature of its necessity is telling of the world at large, or in this case- star system. In a perfect star system, no child would go unhugged, unattended, or forgotten. Yet here she is, forced by circumstance and emboldened by compassion to rise to the occasion. She may not be nailing it, but seriously, who the hell else was taking care of the children they forced to exist? If “Kill the Moon,” was Doctor Who’s pro-life story, this episode stands in stark contrast as the pro-choice story.

An episode with a butt-shaped space station that farts its way to the shores of freedom seems like an odd choice to talk about refugees, but it’s also the episode that gave a booger a soul. While a lot of the tone aligns more with “Aliens of London/World War Three,” or “Love and Monsters,” the message aligns more with something like “Turn Left.” Russell T Davies is giving us a spoonful of sugar with our medicine, which seems the correct approach in a show where Christmas trees are capable of murder. Suffice it to say, seeing a Rwandan refugee playing a British icon on the BBC commenting on the conservative government’s Rwandan bill is better than anything the show could do on its own. You almost have to do it, and more than I’m glad RTD rose to the occasion, I’m glad it was Ncuti who got to do it.

Speaking of things only Ncuti Gatwa could do, I appreciate that his Doctor is emotionally available enough to offer a hug to a child while still being alien enough to scare the bejeezus out of them. I can’t really picture Tom Baker hugging anyone, though I can imagine him scaring the bejeezus out of someone. Maybe Matt Smith would do it. Jodie as well. But Gatwa’s Doctor is an interesting mixture of compassionate and completely aloof. It’s a mixture that is sometimes at odds with itself, but it works. You see it in brief moments like when Ruby’s caretaker instincts take over and she runs head-on into danger, while the Doctor takes a moment to pop around the corner and catch up to her. It’s the classic dynamic of the Doctor being reminded of human nature by his companion.

I really like this selfless defender of the people streak in Ruby’s personality. It reminds me a lot of an ‘80s companion. She’s like a mixture of Nyssa and Ace. She puts herself in harm's way to protect others. She writes songs to cheer up lovesick lesbians. She’s got a very full personality that is palpable very early on. We got this level of character development with RTD’s earlier companions, and it’s nice to see it continue. What’s less nice is how he seems to have also taken a page from Steven Moffat’s book where the companion must also be needlessly complicated. What’s more is it feels less enticing and more like retreading familiar territory. It’s giving “The Impossible Girl,” vibes with an Amy Pond pregnancy body scan to bring it full circle. This is one of my biggest issues with the RTD2 era so far- it feels like a remix of past Doctor Who. That isn’t to say he’s added nothing new to the show, but it does feel a bit Clara 2.0. I’m just saying, it doesn’t always have to be some star-crossed destiny. If you do it every time, it loses its power.  Sometimes people just meet each other. Say what you will about Yaz’s characterisation, but at least she was allowed to be a person.

The story at the heart of “Space Babies,” is ultimately a bit thin. You could argue that there was never any real threat, but that happens sometimes on Doctor Who (take “Listen,” for example). I’ve seen some people online complaining that the Bogeyman doesn’t die, but what does it really do other than scare people? Sure, you see Eric’s pram toppled and find him characteristically bricking it in his diaper, but he’s not got a scratch on him. What if Eric went missing because the Bogeyman “ate” him. They could reveal that he actually was protecting Eric from the dangers of the malfunctioning bowels of the ship. Imagine the bogey bits tearing away out of the airlock, slowly revealing Eric inside. Not only would Jocylen have almost taken an innocent life, but two innocent lives. Pair that with the Doctor's brave rescue and blammo! It could have upped the tension and implied more danger, is all I’m saying.

I was a bit confused by the ship’s computer creating the Bogeyman in the first place. That entire aspect of the plot was skimmed over and very flimsy. I thought they were doing something with the show’s new magical premise, a “superstition of the Bogeyman made him exist,” sort of angle. But no, it was just something the ship did, for reasons. I also expected that to be the reason for Ruby's transformation into the weird scaly lizard woman. I expected it to suddenly be possible through superstition that stepping on a butterfly could change the course of history. But instead, the Doctor forgot to push the butterfly compensator on the TARDIS console. Kinda weird that RTD had two moments to further his own mythology but sided on technobabble. Not bad, just odd.

One aspect that bothered me was how long it took them to reveal the Bogeyman was made of snot. When they took the time to do this whole to do with the babies blowing their noses, I immediately looked over at my wife and said “The Bogeyman is made of baby boogers,’ to which she responded “I hate that you’re right.” They telegraphed it so hard that it made the Doctor seem slow on the uptake. If you recall from my review of "The Husbands of River Song," I felt like they did the same thing to River with how long it took her to recognise the Doctor. However, I imagine it's a bit of a balancing act to know when to reveal something. The Doctor doesn't necessarily have all of the information we have as an audience.

As pilots go, “Space Babies,” could have done better at introducing a new audience to Doctor Who. Much of the expository dialogue about who the Doctor is or where he came from felt rushed and unnatural. My friend Taryn said she enjoyed this aspect of the Doctor being less cryptic and more forthcoming with information. While I agree, I feel like the execution was clumsy, a word we’re starting to see more often in my reviews of the RTD2 era. For comparison, take Fallout, a show that came out only a month earlier. Both are technically first seasons of tv shows based on pre-existing properties with dense lore. Both have eight episodes to tell their stories. And yet with Fallout, we get a trickle of information as things happen. With Doctor Who we have the Doctor stopping his companion mid-sentence to say “Oh yeah, by the way, I have two hearts.” Look, I get it, I’m neurodivergent. I appreciate a good infodump. But there’s a big reason people are calling Fallout a triumph- it respects its audience enough to reveal things over time.

RTD said recently that young people won’t watch black and white. I don’t know if this is true as I am a cusp gen x/millennial. I don’t know much about what kids get up to these days, but I also don’t go around saying what they will and won’t do. It sounds a lot like “Those damn kids with their hip hop video games,” or like “Kids don’t like anything that isn’t Tik Tok or Roblox.” It feels like it misunderstands the appeal of storytelling in the first place. Studio executives have never fully understood what is good about Doctor Who. In the ‘70s and ‘80s, it was “Why can’t it be like Star Wars?” In the Chibnall era, the goal was to compete with Netflix. And now it’s “We need to meet the same standards of Marvel.” But if Doctor Who is always being compared to something else, you curse it into always being behind the curve. When I fell in love with Doctor Who, it was because it wasn’t like anything I had ever seen before. If I want to watch Iron Man, I’ll watch Iron Man.

Not all of the expository dialogue was without merit. I’ve been continually impressed by RTD’s handling of the Timeless Child storyline. As longtime readers know, I was not a fan of that story. Hell, first-time readers probably picked up on it in this article. But I don’t think it’s fair to discount the people who did enjoy that story. And I think it is far more interesting for the show to develop the idea as opposed to sweeping it under the rug. We learned that the Time Lord genocide was cellular, which helps the whole concept of the Master achieving what millions of Daleks couldn’t do make more sense. It’s amazing how much a single line of dialogue can overcome a lot of shoddy writing. I liked the Doctor stating that it doesn’t matter where he comes from, as I’ve been saying that the whole damn time. It’s also nice that despite everything, the Doctor is still a Time Lord in his hearts of hearts. We as fans kinda need those moments so we can collectively move on from what has been a rather ugly time in the fandom.

That’s not to say we aren’t still in an ugly culture battle within the fandom. Racism is still a very real aspect to the conversation. As are ableism, sexism, transphobia. And despite RTD meeting these things head-on with the grace of a fish out of water, we’ve still got some great points of intrigue. Who is this woman played by Susan Twist we keep seeing in the background? Who is the one who waits? Is Mrs Flood the White Guardian to Susan Twist’s Black Guardian? I would love to say it’s the Rani because it’s been 20 fucking years of it not being the Rani, which is also the exact reason I won’t say it’s the Rani. But god I wish it was the Rani. They even name-drop her! Give us this one, please. My point being, despite its daftness and its expressionless babies, “Space Babies,” still gives us a lot to go off of. If you didn’t like it, do what I did and watch it twice. The emotional resonance works better when it feels less like you’re watching a car accident.

Look, if you didn’t like “Space Babies,” I get it. Maybe it’s not for you. There are weird little problems with the episode. The expository dialogue I mentioned, for example. The babies are a bit much. The Bogeyman howling like a werewolf was batshit weird. I guess it was because they compared him to a dog. Even then, why not make it bark? You could ask things like “Why didn’t the Doctor use the TARDIS to fly them to safety instead of setting their space station on a crash course with the planet’s surface?” or "Why didn't the Doctor get sucked out of the airlock? It's air pressure, not gravity." Is the humour still falling a bit flat? Sure. It’s easy to pick stuff apart. But come on, the episode is called “Space Babies,” you knew ahead of time if that concept was going to work for you or not.

_______________________________________________

Thanks for reading! I'm sorry these articles are taking a while. Having two episodes drop simultaneously doubles my workload! I'll have the review for "The Devil's Chord," up tomorrow! Hopefully next week will be more timely.

[sunreys]

As much as I love the netflix shadow and bone and I really enjoyed watching it, let's be so fucking for real: it's not a good adaptation.

Season 1 was not a bad start. Like yeah you can have your complaints about certain acting choices and cgi and whatever (it is a Netflix show let's keep our expectations,,,,,level) but it was not that bad! It was fun, it was pretty faithful to the characters! In terms of book adaptations, it's honestly up there in quality. Season 2, though.

This whole show has been compared to a crack fic, and I second that---its not really the grishaverse. It's like someone's six of crows/shadow and bone crossover fic. Meaning we're smashing together two stories that are each already full of so much content on their own that it would be hard to do it all justice in an 8 episode netflix series. Even harder when you're combining 2 books, random storylines we pulled out of our asses, and scenes from soc and ck that had no business being there. I understand why they did this: six of crows is much more popular than shadow and bone, and the people at netflix wanted to get the most money possible from this. Alas, this hinders the story of the show so so much. For all it's flaws, there is so much good shit in the shadow and bone trilogy. There is SO MUCH that is so interesting, so poignant, so fun, etc etc that we entirely skipped past and cut out because we jammed so much other shit in there that had no reason to be. We skipped almost the entire plot of book 2! And while there's stuff in there that certainly drags on and could be cut, why did we cut out Alina and Mal's time in hiding? The Darkling finding them and everything else with Sturmhond? All the political shit that goes down with Vasily? Alina's struggle with being seen as a saint, her genuine struggle with being plagued by the Darkling? The reveal that Vasily was a fucking idiot and led the Darkling and the Fjerdans to the capital? The CHURCH SCENE??? WHITE HAIRED ALINA??? And that's just book 2! And then we get the canon divergence. Now I'll admit, I was slightly curious to see where they were gonna take this plot. However, if it was gonna go how they seemed to be setting it up, it would've been disappointing. I'm not a fan of stories where after the big climax the female lead loses her magic powers in favor of some peaceful life as a housewife or whatever. However, I loved the way the shadow and bone books ended. It was set up and foreshadowed that using merzost would have a cost. Alina willingly chose that cost to save mal, to have her happily ever after and her normal life which is what she always wanted. To prove the Darkling wrong. That's the important thing. Instead I guess mal goes "damn I know u literally brought me back from the dead but I'm gonna break up with u now bc I hate destiny I guess". And it seems as though the show was planning to have a storyline where Alina deals with having the Darklings power and struggles with whether or not she should succumb to the Darklings ideals or whatever. Which sounds like an interesting plot right? But guess what? WEVE ALREADY SEEN THAT SHIT IN THE BOOKS. IF THE SHOW ACTUALLY SHOWED US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOKS WE WOULDVE HAD ALINA STRUGGLING WITH HER LITTLE VILLAIN ARC INSTEAD OF WHATEVER TF WE WERE HEADING TOWARDS AT THE END OF SEASON 2.

Anyways. Netflix execs get ur shit together and start greenlighting adaptations that fans of the original material---who you are literally appealing to by making this adaptation in the first place---will actually enjoy.